How Your Failed Relationships Make The ‘Successful One’ Awesome; Conditions Apply

 

 Break-ups, failed relationships, heartbreaks are something that many of us go through in our life at some point or the other. Some go through it more often than others, while some go through it more reluctantly than others. Nevertheless, it does happen. When it happens, it seems difficult, unbearable, painful and awful. The good news is: in the end it is all those 'so-called' failed relationships that help us make the successful one. This article shows how that happens.

Helps you find out who you truly are

Unlike the fairy tale romance in novels and movies, the truth is that not all of us meet that one person with whom we want to spend our entire life in the first try. Neither are we supposed to! It is quite crucial for us to meet all those people with whom our relationships didn't work in order to discover who we truly are. Romantic relationships expose those sides (both good and bad) of us that we are often unaware of or choose to ignore. 

For example, if a person is insecure by nature, that aspect of his/her personality will be exposed clearly and undeniably to them (and of course their partner) in a relationship, which otherwise will be difficult to notice. Once you know your own devils you can work towards improving those aspects of your personality. So that, when you finally meet the 'one', you will be ready, more than ever, to embrace them and your relationship fully without any hiccups from your personality devils like insecurity (provided you have learned your lesson the first time and worked on that aspect).

Similarly, relationships also expose the positive side of you which you may be unaware of. For instance, being with a person who doesn't believe in basic goodness of people and is always suspicious, you may come to know about your own faith in the general goodness of people and life. Now in a situation like that you may end the relationship and that relationship may get the tag of 'failure' but what you learned from that about yourself is something that will stay with you. When you get into a relationship next time you will explore the person's views on the issue, which will ensure a better connection between the two of you which may eventually contribute to the success of that relationship

The bottom line is: once you are able to discover the real you (good and bad), you will be ready to be a part of a happy relationship/marriage.

Helps you learn to love and accept yourself

One of the biggest reasons that cause relationships to fail is that people don't feel that their partner loves and accepts them truly. There will be plenty of couples around you who will be always complaining about how they love their partner more and in return get less attention, care and love from the partner. Once you feel and experience that in a relationship, you slowly learn to stand up for yourself. You slowly learn that you need to love and accept yourself first before anyone else can and that's a breakthrough in relationships. Once you learn to love yourself and accept yourself, life will change for you and so will your relationships. 

You learn to love and accept others as they are

  Clearly, once you learn to love and accept yourself as you are, you automatically learn to love and accept others as they are. And that's a basic foundation of any successful relationship.

The catch: what you need to do

Now, there is one little catch or let's say one little thing that you need to do in order to let all these failed relationship be a stepping stone to that successful one: be complete with all those people with whom it didn't work. Now, finding out if you are complete with the past and those people from the past, can be a tricky task. So, here is a simple guide: Ask yourself if you meet your ex in a party or at a restaurant, how will you feel and how will you behave? a) Will you be awkward/uncomfortable/angry/irritated/upset/sad and will try to avoid them or finish the meeting as soon as possible? or b) Will you be comfortable and relaxed and will greet them with a smile, ask them how they are, what is happening with them and then gently move on to meet other people in the party or to your table in the restaurant?

If your answer is a) then clearly you don't have closure with the person and are not complete in those relationships. You need to complete it with them else similar people and relationships will keep popping up in your life until you learn your lesson and get your closure. Now completing with an ex not necessarily means calling them or meeting them and telling them everything you want to. As in most cases this may be difficult for you to do practically as well as emotionally. One of the simplest way to get your completion with them is to write a letter to them and tell them everything you want to say. Everything! Let your feelings come out, be it anger, rage, frustration, irritation, jealousy, fear, love, care, worry, etc. Write it as if you are telling them all that face to face. Don't leave anything unsaid. Once finished with it don't send/post that letter to your ex or anyone else. Just tear it to the smallest possible pieces, burn it or flush it. By the end of this process you will sense the difference in terms of how you feel about your ex and about that relationship and that is the ultimate indication that you have a completion and are ready to move on in the truest sense.

If your answer to the question is b) congratulations, you are on the right track, keep doing what you are doing, keep a tab of all that you have learned from those relationships that didn't work and smile.

 

Last word

Stop beating yourself for all your so-called failed relationships. Just reflect and see what went wrong and what went right in them. Learn, complete and move on, life has so much more to offer!